A Change in the Holiday Season

hey! it's me again.....blogging about choice....blogging about life!

as we move closer to another year....another holiday season....please don't forget the women that are less fortunate...that struggle to make ends meet. that go to dead end jobs for little or inadequate pay and no benefits. that deal with a variety of "isms" (classism, racism, ageism) in order to feed their children or support themselves. women in situations or relationships they can't quite escape for whatever reason. women with addictions and not enough treatment facilities to support them. women with health issues or chronic illnesses. women with mental health issues. women that have been violated by others. women that have been ignored by society. women that are trying to make it while trying to control their reproductive health.

WOMEN! Don't forget them!

CHOICE

There are women out there who believe that there's some women who are incapable of making the "right" choice regarding abortion. There is only one "right" choice and that is YOUR CHOICE! I am pro- choice. I believe that no matter what decision you choose, it's right because you made it. If a woman decides to half ten kids and/or ten abortion I'll support her regardless. For the individuals who don't support a woman's choice to have an abortion regardless of her reasons for having one, let's hope you support her emotionally and financially if she decides to have a child. Where are all the "pro-life" people then? NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!

"Is it because I'm Black"

Recently I had got hired at an abortion clinic and it made me realize once more that in this life allot of times people don't care about the everyday challenges you face or how you deal with them. Especially when it comes to white people who are not marginalized and are scared of people like myself who are colored. I was working at this clinic for two weeks and then they sent me to another location of theirs to get phone training and called me over the phone and fired me. Why, I couldn't understand, but after thinking about this one event I realized what it was. I had to learn the hard way,They had this one girl training me and when she would train me when we had time she would talk about personal things, which I didn't consider to be intimate!, we were just talking, so she was saying how she met this guy and he had a PHD and couldn't find a job and so I replied by saying yeah its hard to find a job because of the recession and my friend has a background and I tell him he has to work extra hard because people like her friend are having a hard time so he has to work harder than the average person.I didn't consider that to be anything that would get me in trouble in any kind of way. But oh does news travel fast and misconscrewed !! So two days later the lady who hired me and the CEO of the company who were both white came to me and told me that several people came to her and told her that I said My boyfriend or husband robs houses.She said that concerned her because the clinic had been robbed before and ask me did i say anything like that and I told her I was talking about my boyfriend not husband and all I said was he had a background, I didn't disclose to her what was on it and I hadn't said that he was a robber and I would never date anyone who does something that horrible because I had been robbed in daylight with a gun and she told me just keep my personal business to myself and that this discussion was not going to affect my job, but she lied because the next week they called and fired me over the phone saying that" I was just not a good fit". I felt like saying "Is it because I'm Black" like Queen Latifah on beauty shop but I refrained myself because After I had the meeting I knew there was going to be trouble because she seemed freaked out by what whoever had told her. I felt freaked out I was very angry that some one would twist my words and go back and tell the CEO. So I asked I asked the person I told and they said they didn't say anything but I didn't know whether to believe her or not because another lady told me that the managers can listen to what your saying downstairs from upstairs after the fact. Sooooo many people were talking about the other people that work there behind their back I should have knew to be xtra cautious with anything I said. But I said it with out even thinking and this injustice just made me realize that because I am a black women I have to always be on my toes and one step ahead of everybody else.Sometimes I feel like the crab in the tank who keeps getting pulled back in. I don't understand what my friend having a background has to do with my job if i am doing what I am suppose to do. But I guess be cause I am black it has allot to do with it. I can't believe how racist people are even after the election of the president . But I guess progress doesn't happen over night. I mean I thought I would be at this job for a while and be able to be on my own and take care of my bills without needing someone else. I mean I needed that job and one little roomer ended it. Whats so messed up is that the day before they fired me my aunt whose building I was living in ask me to leave because she didn't like my boyfriend who is no longer my boyfriend. So now I am starting all over from nothing again. I don't know, in life sometimes it just seems like the fight will never end. I mean as soon as you think your ship is coming it just passes you on by. I know I have to keep on pushing but when things like this happens some times you just want to throw the towel in. But I do realize if I do that it would be giving the other team an easy win and anything worth having is worth fighting for and one day I will live instead of just surviving on this earth. People aren't always going to be fair to you so nether is life.The worst thing of all is they didn't even have the audacity or courage to fire me to my face. Which made it all the more disturbing and let me know that it was because of my color and me being associated with someone who has a background. My friend is just someone who made some bad choices when he was younger and paid his dues now he is trying to turn his life around but how can he do that if no one will give him a chance. Just a little one but maybe one day God will sprinkle a little grace on him too so until next time "Remember nobody is going to give you anything sometimes you have to take or fight for it but never throw the towel in cuz I'm not! In the words of my Beautiful Black Brother "I'm getting mines" and it takes more muscles to frown than smile.So hold your head up!
Love, Peace and Choice

Sisters with different Songs coming togather in ATL!!

Im back from the SisterSong conference and there is only one word that comes close enough to describe this undescribable experience and that is "empowering". There were so many women of color from different places with different stories but all still similar to mine.I cried,
I laughed, I partied and got spiritual.Not all at the same time but all in the same weekend. Going to the conference gave me hope not only for myself but also for the future my daughter and it showed me truley if united we can stand anything but if divided we fall and fail. So remember that and use it. Peace, Love and Choice.

ATL

I hope everyone is in good spirits!

We went to the ATL and I had a jolly good time!

I had the lovely opportunity to take the trip with 3 lovely ladies. I got to grub at Gladys Knight Chicken and Waffles...... I was of the chain!!!!! I got to me and talk with a lovely young lady that really supports us at CAF (Hey Kandance = ) Not to mention I felt so empowered when I was walking through the southern suburban mall with an " I Had An Abortion" t shirt and OBama earrings. Boy you should have seen the looks I was getting. So what screw them it's My Voice and My Choice.

I am proud to anounce that I had a revelation at the conference....... I am a TRUE ACTVIST for Reproductive Justice and Reproductive Rights!!!!! and yes I can breakdown the difference between the to if you need me to!

On a serious note I got an opportunity to get away and be amongst women of color that are taking a stand and it felt GOOD!

Peace and Blessings to all. I hope you enjoyed your holiday!!!

Shay

Grassroots Leadership from the Bottom Up!

Reading previous posts and how the women have connected to a world greater than them, is really inspiring. I see on a daily basis, how these women we've funded work through the challenges that life presents to them. I am inspired because they are not giving up, they believe their lives matter and they continue to try to make their lives better. The women we serve do not have the privilege to volunteer full-time as we would like. However, they give us the time they can and have gone to conferences, hosted the talk show and blogged. This is inspiring for me. I get paid to do this work - they don't. So I don't take this lightly. I admire them greatly and my heart is full when I do this work on behalf of them.

This is how new leadership is developed, grown and cultivated. Grassroots activism at it's best!

Someone I'm Not?!

Recently someone told me to stop trying to be something I'm not and to live my life the way it was meant to be. I didn't know how or if I even wanted to respond. Belonging to the My Voice, My Choice leadership group has opened my eyes to see things and the world in a way I've never imagined. I get to meet extraordinary everyday women who inspire me to be greater than I already am. They instill in me the hope and possibility of becoming someone great and that I do not have to settle with the way things are and that I can make a difference. They encourage me to fight for everything I believe in and never give up. So, I will never stop trying to be something I'm not right now. One day I will become an even greater woman, mother and activist. Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Change Is Gonna Come

I cannot begin to express all the emotions I felt at the SisterSong conference in Atlanta, GA. I was inspired and empowered by all the amazing women that are in this fight with me. There are many injustices we face as women of color and to be around women who share the common goal of eliminating and not tolerating these injustices was truly inspiring. I met some pretty awesome people whom I look forward to seeing again. To be around such strong women who devote their lives to the reproductive justice movement only reassures me that a change is going to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peace

The Revolution

So we are in the ATL at the SisterSong conference and EMERGE convening. Four of us from the windy city are representing! I can't tell you how many times I almost teared up either, looking at Brittany and Nicole either participating, making their voices heard, expressing their opinions. They give me the courage to continue on and do this reproductive justice work for the long haul. Changing systems in not a short term thing! Here are these two absolutely beautiful young single moms - who've had abortions - taking their activism to the streets - in their own ways! How can I not possibly fight for their freedom....when it's my freedom too!

We are going to fight the government controlling and regulating our bodies and the bodies of poor and marginalized women. How are we going to do this? Just like how Obama won the presidency - through bottom up leadership, grassroots organizing and empowerment to the people! Yes.....our revolution may not be (mainstream) televised but we are not going away quietly! We are in this fight for reproductive justice to win!

Peace and solidarity!

ATL SHAWTY

I am so excited, today is finally the day! We are on our way to the SisterSong Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. Atlanta is a place with so much history and going here is definitely a landmark in my life. Just to be with my Black sisters and bond is refreshing. I wish I could describe how happy I feel. But thats all I can say for now. See you when I get back from the "A" Shawty!!!!!!!

Welcome to Atlanta

I am really excited today. I'm on my way to Atlanta for a conference about reproductive justice and it is being hosted by SisterSong. SisterSong represents all women of color and the issues we face about reproductive justice and health. I am very honored and proud to be apart of something this extraordinary and powerful. I cannot wait to get there and learn as much as I possibly can. Of course I'll come back and blog to keep you posted!!!

CAF Call-In Show #10 Now Online!

Here is part 1 (of three)- check out the links at the end of the video for parts 2 and 3!

Yes We Can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so grateful and honored to be a part of this day. I always knew in my heart that he would win. This is not just about Barack Obama being the first black president but he will be the change this great nation so desperately needs. My children will be able to have a great future. This, above all things, is why I'm so proud of this day. My children are my life and securing them a promising future is something I can and do believe in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been uninspired to blog lately. Maybe it's this place we call America. Maybe it's society. What happened to the "American Dream?" That is all that it is. A dream. Living in a society where you're not meant to survive or succeed is a little thing I like to call reality.When I wake up and and head out to work I do not see that land of opportunity or promise. Well, I see at least one promise. The promise to keep us blind and oppressed. No one in my community is concerned with what the government is doing being because they believe in their hearts that there is nothing they can do to change society. No one has heard about Roe v. Wade. I was ignorant before I joined the leadership group also.
What we all need is a place where we can receive proper education about the history and issues that affect us. No one is going to invest in our children's education because the more we learn, the more we we'll see. They don't want us to get an education that will actually benefit us and help us thrive. We'll finally see that we do have the power. We can do this!!!!!!!!!!

We have to stop letting people make decisions for us and our bodies. But how do we do that? We start by letting our voices be heard, even through blogging. I am so anxious to see the outcome of this election. With the wrong candidate in office we(women) could be facing the death sentence. If we lose the right to choose, we lose almost everything. Of course that isn't going to stop us from fighting but if we can do anything to avoid this from happening, please let's do it. Some people are afraid of women being in charge of their own minds and their own bodies. My greatest fear is the exact opposite.

First Time

Hey everyone this is my first time blogging. I'm one of the newer members of the My Voice, My Choice leadership group. I'll be posting more in the future. See you then.

CAF Web Updates

Looking for a way to beat the Monday Blahs? Get informed on radical reproductive justice views!

Gaylon Alcaraz, Chicago Abortion Fund's executive director, has written a new report entitled, "Challenging Times, Yet Not Impossible Times!"

Check it out here!

Also, September's Call-In in show is available for viewing on youtube! Gaylon interviews Nilsa, from LORE- Latina Organizing Reproductive Equality.

Check out our you tube page!

Superwoman

So I get up this morning and the sun hits my face and I turn around and the first thing I see is my daughter. She wakes up happy every morning.That right there makes me happy and gives me the strength to be the superwoman I know I am. Isn't funny how children don't worry about the rent,bills,what people think of them or any of the things adults let stress them out. Oh to be young again!But for little people that are so careless you can always tell that they love you. I say this to say I want my daughter when she gets older to feel she can be a superwoman and continue to be worry free just as she is now. Know that she can soar in the world,be a doctor,lawyer,feminist, or even a superstar. Whatever she wants! But she makes me a superwoman for right now. I know for a fact if I didn't have her some days I probably wouldn't get out of bed. She gives me the strength to get up everyday on the hectic search for a job. To keep believing things will get easier and continue in the every day fight to survive. Get up go to school,go to work and get home and fix dinner while practicing abc's. So maybe she's a superwoman already or supergirl turning into superwoman.

VOTE OR DIE

In 2000 Senator McCain did not support the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Now he's all for it. He's Pro-life!!!!! Yes, that's just how proud he is. This morning on Good Morning America both McCain and his wife were asked about him now being in support of it's overturning, she replied, "Look, people are concerned with the economy, where their next meal is going to come from, the oil prices. No one is concerned about our views on abortion!!" I'm concerned and everyone else should be also. The Supreme Court has the power to overturn Roe v. Wade. If McCain becomes the next president, he has promised to appoint three justices to the Supreme Court whom have all questioned Roe v. Wade. This election is literally VOTE OR DIE!!

Hello

I'm finally blogging Yay!!! But I don't kno what to say because I'm not a writer I'm more of a reader
but anywho stay tuned for more of me!!!

Privacy or Not?

The right to privacy has suddenly cropped up in the conversation but from the other side of the table like it is a brand new word. We have been saying all along that a woman has a right to privacy....to make her own choices...to control her own body....to determine if she wants to be a mother or not. Government shouldn't dabble in a woman's personal choice. However, when it's the other side of the argument, then privacy becomes a really big elephant in the middle of the room.

I do believe that women should have a right to privacy and they shouldn't be raked over the coals for whatever decision they make. However, it can't just be one side of the argument that gets to benefit from this. Treat all women fair and square. Leave them alone on the issue of reproductive choice. Let them make their own decisions about whether they want to become mothers or not!

We may not be able to agree on abortion..........

We may not be able to agree on abortion but we can agree on the number of unwanted pregnancies that is what Obama said on august 28th. WHich is so very true. Every year acroos the country millions of women have unwanted babies and abortion is one solution and I'm not saying it is the best solution but it is a solution. Lets be real people, %75 of americans especially african americans don't plan on having kids but do and in this day and age children are costly bundles of joy but costly. How can you afford a child if you can't afford rent. I for one am glad Obama had the courage to say what he said. You should have the courage tooo!

August's Call-In Show is up on You Tube!

Here's a taste, part 1 of 3. This month, Shay is joined by Ronnie from F.R.I.D.A- Feminist Response In Disability Activism.

Taking Care of You

Last night I was up late after studying and I happened to catch the infomercials that come on.
I don't know if it was a coincidence, but it seemed like all of them were promoting health and fitness. Usually when I do catch the infomercials I see a variety of things like kitchen gadgets, feet gadgets, hair gadgets, tools etc., but not last night. Some were advertising exercising equipment, diet pills, meal plans etc. Of course everything they are selling sounds so convincing. They lead you to believe by just buying this one thing will really help you lose a significant amount of weight. Then at the end of the infomercial they flash with a combination of diet and exercise blah.. blah.. blah...blah.......

The reality is we all know that a good diet and ample exercise we can lose weight and ultimately become a healthier person. The problem is if we know this why aren't we taking initiative. I know I've been watching those many infomercial, and impulsively purchased what I thought would be the "one" that would get me on the road to good health. Only to get it home and not lose 20lbs in 10days then come to conclusion that I need much more that this "one" thing.

As I looked in my closet and looked at all the "one" things I purchased that was supposed to help me become healthy. I realized the lengths that I went through to lose weight and become healthier. With all that assistance the miracle didn't happen. The "one" thing you should do starting right now is take care of you. Whether that is making a healthier choice in what you for dinner and getting off the bus a few stops earlier, or just getting eight hours sleep tonight and drinking a extra glass of water. Do something today right now that helps you become a better you! We all have a lot of things going on and our lives, but from here on out everyday do something whether is small or big. Just take care of you!

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

First off, wow, what a horrible name! :)

Has anybody else been following this show on ABC Family? I don't have cable, but they stream the video online the day after it's been shown on TV, so I've been eagerly watching it whenever I get a chance.

You've gotta hand it to Brenda Hampton (creator of the show), after skirting around abortion and whitewashing a lot of issues on Seventh Heaven, she's actually diving into some serious issues that are hard to mention and discuss, especially when the adults in the picture are very rarely moral authorities to guide the kids.

The abortion episode ("Love for Sale") was... frustrating. Decent, but frustrating. First off, most clinics would NOT allow such a scene to be had in the lobby room. It was built up during the episode to be some big, scary thing (complete with Amy- the 15 and pregnant main character- crying when she was "rescued" off the exam table- why wasn't there a doctor or nurse with her?!) when in reality, I feel like a 15 year old giving birth is a much bigger, much scarier thing.

The preview before that episode had Molly Ringwald (Amy's mom) "confessing" to having been in a similar situation. I was really hoping she would 'fess up to having an abortion! The fact that her marriage is falling apart because she married her baby's dad due to being pregnant so young is interesting, though....

Ultimately, for TV, the episode was somewhat supportive of Amy's choice (she ended up deciding against abortion at the clinic). But the drama that was happening around her while she was changing her mind- and the show's insistence that she give up her baby for adoption- is a bit maddening. At an abortion clinic, there would have been counseling to make sure she wanted to have the abortion, and discuss adoption or parenting if not. Now, how many OB/GYNS are going to have counselors on sight to make sure giving birth is something you want to do?

There's so much more I want to say about the show, but two quicks things: one- it's great that they're working with The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy but- I'm frustrated with the details. Most teen pregnancies do not involve 2 teenagers. Often, the male in the situation is at least 5 years older, often in their twenties. But a show about predatory men and victimized girls- that'd be a bit hard to make a romantic-funny-family sitcom about, no?

Whose Agenda is this Anyway?

When we talk about true reproductive justice what do we really mean?

Is the work I do my own personal drive and ambition? Or is this really about every single woman or teenage girl that needs choice? Someone said today that the work I'm doing is about my own agenda. I had to take a step back and say whoa....where was this coming from. And even though it was probably said out of anger and frustration it does make one think. If this was my own personal agenda then it wouldn't be about the women we served, the women in the leadership group or the visibility we are assisting in creating around this issue. It would really be about giving women funding and that is it.

However, this is not my agenda. This is everyone's agenda. Every human being should have the right to make their own reproductive health choices. Because I speak out on it and encourage this stance doesn't mean it's my agenda.

Bringing women to the table to build leadership and empower those that have been disempowered....hmmm? Maybe I'm not willing to sit around and keep all the power in choice to myself. Maybe it is my agenda!

Here’s a scene you’ll never see in a movie, play or TV show:

OB/GYN Doctor: (taking random medical history) Any previous pregnancies?

Woman: Two abortions.

Doctor: No full term pregnancies?

Woman: No. It wasn’t the right time.

Doctor: And this time? It’s the right time?

Woman: Yep.

Doctor: I’ve always been a bit confused as to why clinics have to do all this counseling to make sure you’re ready for an relatively quick abortion procedure while doctors like me are made to just assume that every woman and family is ready for this 18+ year; financially, physically and emotionally draining commitment.

But no. Abortion is used as a dramatic element- to create a death (backalley abortion); to create emotional distress (forced abortions, or women who shouldn’t have had an abortion in the first place and probably would have been told no by a reputable clinic); to add a heroine element (usually about doctors)...

Yet, in the USA 1 in 4 women will have an abortion by the time she is in her 40’s. If you bring that to a world wide statistic, it averages out to 1 abortion per women. One abortion per woman!!

I seriously don’t understand why people don’t talk about it more. Sure, it’s easier to see the effects of actually having children- there are children you are taking care of for quite a while. But I’ve been part of many a conversation where the gory details of a surgery, accident, or illness has been discussed; people talk about going to the doctor weeks before and after going, even for a mundane checkup. It’s maddening, the silence around this issue.

The Me I Choose To Be

Be true to who you are. There will be times when you forget just who you are and you might not know how you got there in the first place. In today's society, there's a sense of alienation when you are being yourself. You must always remember: to thine own self be true!!!!! Everything else will fall into place. Peace!!!!!

We All Help Make A DIfference!

I've been apart of My Choice, My Voice for about a 1yr and a half. Must I tell you how far I have grown and continue to grow from this empowering experience. All these women who are in the group support me and I support them. And isn't that what most people want in life some one to be there. We learn from each other so much. Gaylan you are my role model. I want to be like you when I grow up. Enjouli you Inspire me so much to further my education and take the extra step to better my self. Brittany people say I am a hard worker but compared to you I'm a slacker. With that being said we all help make a difference not only in voicing our choice when it comes to abortion but in every day things we do. Sometimes we don't even realize the differences we make.But be smart about the choices you make so your making the right changes that make the right difference. Remember we all make mistake but it's what you do after you realized you made that counts!

Being A Marginalized Person

Yesterday my friend said something to me that really woke me, she was speaking about her boyfriend saying that he was a potential loser. She continued saying he has access to opportunities and choices, so if he wants to continue to be a marginalized person, thats on him. In my head all I could think about was me. I'm a marginalized individual, but not for long. Being in the leadership group has definitely afforded me opportunities beyond my expectations. I often feel that society isn't exactly set up for me, a marginalized person to succeed. But does that mean that I can't succeed?,NO! That means I have to work harder, which at first seems like a bummer, but in the big scheme of things will make me stronger......... Being black in America is similar to being White in Africa. Learning to prevail and prosper in any circumstances and situations says a lot about my character. I can go anywhere and conquer anything!!!!!!

CAF's July 08 Call-In Show Posted on You Tube!

Check it out!

Enjouli from the My Voice, My Choice leadership group and Maya from the Illinois Caucus for Adolescent Health represent! They talk about women of color, teenagers, reproductive justice, the Hyde Amendment, comprehensive sex education and more!!!

Reading....A Choice!

So what are those leadership group women up to now? A book club!

And maybe this is not a big deal to you.....but remember there is a lot of people that don't even know what a book club is or have ever been a part of a book club. So you have leadership group women surfing our library and taking out books such as: Awareness by Anthony De Mello or Beyond Fear......and they are choosing to do this. I didn't tell it was a requirement to read motivating books. They are making the choice to empower themselves. This made me think about a few of my favorites: The Four Agreements and The Seat of the Soul. Also another book in my sight is: When Work Disappears...The World of the New Urban Poor. (this should be a good read)

But more importantly this step of starting a book club is about developing some social connections with other circles.....stepping outside their bubble.s...their neighborhoods....their world....their fears....to do something different with their lives. A good book to read on this is called: Bowling Alone....which talks about society's decline in social connectedness and how the less we have the worst off we are. For example....we all know that in a majority of the cases it is about who you know and being in the right place at the right time to land employment. If we don't have any outside circles....or don't have a broader social circle....our opportunities across the board are limited.

So back to the girls.......they are developing their social connectedness....expanding their networking circles.....stepping outside of their neighborhoods.....facing the unknown and participating on a level they never thought possible. Coming to CAF for financial assistance yet getting some real honest and loving support is allowing them to take some steps forward.

I don't take all this lightly. In fact, when I checked the blog today and saw Brittany's post at 10:30pm last night I cried. This young woman works two jobs to take care of her 3 little girls (and they are just adorable!) and pay her rent....and then come home and blog? Or what about the young woman that cooks on a hot plate but comes to the office to blog? Or what about another leadership group member that struggles with her own internal issues of self-worth but turns around and blogs? If these stories don't touch your heart I don't know what will.

All I can say is that I am forever transformed by the lives of the women we serve. They make me a better person....and now they are making me read much more. But like they say...reading is fundamental....and a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

SPEAK NOW OR BE FOREVER SILENCED

If only people would stop judging the leadership and what we're about and actually take the time to see what we're doing. They would be amazed because what we do is just that. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do this with the hope that one day my people, my generation, my children's generation, will continue this fight against and overcome those who wish to keep us oppressed and silent. Always, always remember: YOU have a voice, YOU have a choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peace:)

Why?

I just wanted to take the time out to ask why? Why are people so blind? Not physically but mentally. Sometimes we as people are so caught up in what is right and what is wrong that we are blind sighted to real issues. I am so tired of people saying, Oh I'm a Pro- Lifer and Pro-choice is wrong like I don't believe in life. But the fact is I do believe in life, I actually even have a daughter. But the one thing I don't believe in is some one else deciding what you do with your body. Have you ever seen the marijuana commercial where the guy is standing center of the room and all these other people are coming up to him changing his clothes; cutting his hair and at the end it says when you give up the right to choose you give up being a person. The moral of the commercial is to prevent kids from smoking marijuana because of peer pressure. Well it's the same thing with abortion. If you don't have the right to choose you might as well not own your body. And I quote Enjouli when she said to me today what about that woman that has been raped or molested and the result is she gets pregnant. Now not only does she have to deal with the fact that she was raped or molested. But if she can't get an abortion and has to have the baby now she has tolook at a spitting image of the man who raped her for the rest of her life. And what if she is low income and never planned on having kids, now she has to deal with raisng a kid that she could never really afford and in those cases choice is valid.Something my mom always told me is life is about choices and some people make the right one and some people make wrong ones, We all try to make the best ones but at the end of the day to each it's own.Love Peace and Choice!

Thanks Nicole....

She is absolutely right, the conversation of condoms in classrooms is definitely an issue that needs to be addressed. I believe that condoms should be introduced to children when they reach puberty. Many may say this encourages sex,...Well at this point school is the only arena not promoting sex. So if school is the source of empowerment and education, why not sex education, in a world where sex is our primary function....(it's kinda like blind folding someone & telling them to find their way)...To the parents, sex is used to target everything, including your children. Introducing 6,7,& 8th graders to condoms doesn't mean that they will have sex, it means that we understand & acknowledge that we live in a world that is not free from disease. I don't condone kids having sex, but lets be real, it happens..... There's a lot of things I feel we should shelter our kids from, but we can't be with them all day, every second. If my 7 th grade cousin can listen to his teacher talk about how we are literally killing hundreds in Iraq, then he can be informed about sexual protection. Some may say both these issues are before his time, but that's the world they live in, the world WE created....(protect them from not being protected!) PEACE

All Day Training

Today is 6-28-08 and I am at reproductive training for My voice, My choice leadership group. The day started off draging but, now we're up and moving. Even though at nine in th morning we were all still wiping the sleep out our eye, we stilll were able to get the juices flowing. We got off to a great start with a trainer from Icah who brung up some important issues of trust between parent and child. First on the wall behind us she post two signs one agree and one disagree. She asked a couple of questions and asked us to stand against the wall with the sign that we agree with and one question she asked that atleast i thought was very interesting was, Should a child at thirteen be able to have privacy?Then she went on to ask if condoms should be passed out at schools. For the first question I agreed and so did several of the other women,but two of the women said no. I think that at thirteen you should be able to know the difference between right and wrong 75% of the time if taught and It depends on the mother daughter relationship, how trusting each person is with each other. The condom question I'm not sure on where I stand on that but the condom conversation is very important conversation I think should be discussed at home.So I hope this sparks it.

Got Milk and Priviledge?

This past weekend was the last of our travels for this fiscal year. We (staff, leadership group and myself) sat on a panel at the NWSA conference (National Women's Studies Association) in Ohio and talked about the leadership group, reproductive justice and grassroots organizing from the perspective of women of color.

If you've never been to this conference it is definitely interesting. Purely from a academia/research perspective - students and professors come to read their papers and talk about their latest research. Every once in a while a grassroots organization is thrown in for variety or good measure. This is where it gets interesting.

From my perspective (although our workshop had very good attendance) it doesn't seem as though people really want to hear what we have to say. Audience members want to push their own agendas (would you like to be a part of our project?), ideas or even research us! And if you say something they don't agree with - it's a problem (researchers don't have all the answers but neither do activists). Of course, not all attendees are this way because there is exception to every rule. However, there seems to be a disconnect between research and people doing the real work. A real big disconnection.

For example, one researcher talked about her work around HIV in the African American community. She wanted to know what we were doing around this issue with our leadership group. I answered that we provide a variety of health information to the women we work with and plenty of educational materials to empower them. The young lady wasn't satisfied with this answer. Yet, I'm hearing the information, statistics and numbers she has researched but not hearing concrete solutions to the HIV problem either. We all need concrete solutions to everyday problems that relate to marginalized women.

The women we serve are not interested in the latest academia research. They want support for the choices they make and they don't want to be judged for their decisions. They want healthy families too! Yet, how do they have healthy families when they don't have their basic needs met - or the privilege to get those basic needs met? With all the obstacles that poverty presents how do they make those healthy choices? A woman may want to buy a gallon of milk but does she have the ability to do so?

Yes we need research. That is a must. But we also need real work and change.

Owning women’s bodies, owning women’s wombs

I’ll admit it. I read anti-choice blogs. And listen to anti-choice podcasts. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t adding to their hits, but I figure they probably do the same to our stuff.

Anyway. I was listening to some old podcasts that I’ve been waiting for some time to get to listen to (we’ve been traveling a lot here at CAF). And while completely on another topic, one of the commentators mentioned when she was in college, “there was a rapist near our college.” Suddenly, I had a rising tide of outrage in myself.

This was coming from the woman on the show who had had an abortion and worked as a counselor for women suffering after an abortion (from an anti-choice perspective, unlike agencies such as Backline and Exhale and independent feminist clinic post-abortion counseling groups). Coming from a woman who was supposed to be anti-choice because she’s pro-woman, I expected more. She mentioned the campus cops escorting women to and from classes and parties, and went back to the topic at hand. The naivete of this woman who counsels other women made me pity her clients.


Let’s put rape into some perspective:

-Rape is sex you don’t agree to, including forcing a body part or object into your vagina, rectum (bottom), or mouth {or a certain sex act that you did not agree to, if you consented to sex- ed.}. Date rape {sometimes called/used interchangeably with acquittance rape, sometimes marital rape depending on the situation; often used interchangeably with “sexual violence”- ed.} is when you are raped by someone you know. Both are crimes. Rape is not about sex – it is an act of power by the rapist and it is always wrong. (from girls.gov)

-Incest is the type of sexual contact that occurs between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal (e.g., parents and children, uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews, etc.). (from RAINN)

-One in three girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18.
-14% of women are victims of rape committed by their husband.
-As many as 80% of all assaults involve acquaintances.
(from Rape Victim Advocates)


My activism is framed in a social justice framework, including knowledge from the anti-rape movement. The statement this woman obviously lacked any knowledge of- or perhaps even a dismissal of- the anti-rape movement’s advances. Possibly, there was a serial rapist on or near the campus. Mostly likely, however, there were many males on her campus that felt they had the right to the female’s bodies and to show their control over them (sound familiar?). Stranger Danger may be a good thing to have in the back of your head, but Date Rape, Marital Rape and Incest are unfortunately far, far more common. Stranger Danger serves misogynistic* males in control by keeping women afraid (to be alone, among other things), dependent on familiar males, in a state of constant victimization. And while the other prospects can seem even more terrifying, being in a Stranger Danger mindset stops us from keeping those males (and females) around us from being held accountable, informed, and active in engaging for an anti-sexist culture.

Enforcing a rape culture, even in a simple conversation- an especially in a podcast available for worldwide download-, is not pro-woman. And neither is making women feel bad for the choices they’ve made around pregnancies.

Got a Hankie?

Ok....so I'm a big mush ball! I'm crying y'all! CAF really represented at the NNAF conference in Philly this past weekend. I'm so proud! Really. These young women are off the chain...totally off the hook! I mean they are the bomb! (if you don't know what any of this means...you better ask somebody!) To see these young women growing and doing stuff in this movement can't even be described. The words I have in my heart.....they won't come out. So the tears come.

These women are awesome. They are young sisters. Young mothers. Marginalized. Ignored by society. Yet they still have a voice and have the right to make it heard. We are bringing them to the table to really participate. No this is not window dressing. It is not about that. It is really about being a true advocate for women. It is not about collecting your paycheck every other Friday. It is about rising up and reaching back. Helping those because we really care about our fellow human beings. It is about loving yourself...therefore you can love other women fully enough to want to help them. It is not about jealously or envy or competition or who is better. It is about the women we serve. All the time.

Every woman that comes through CAF should have her voice heard. Should be respected and treated like a human being...not some number. I have made a commitment to this. The board of directors has made a commitment to this. We are moving forth. Young women of color in the reproductive justice movement????!!!!!! Yes We Are....Yes We Will...Yes We Can!

WOW!!!!.....

...Is all I can say. I'm really happy we made it to Philly safely because this movement really needs us. Brittany and I are representing all young black low income(I hate that word) women across the country.(Em 2) It's a lot to take in. Since Thursday, I've learned tons of good info, which will travel back to Chicago with me like a check.lol,...Straight to the bank!..... It's motivating to see all of these funds come together to strengthen the cause. I've networked with some amazing powerful women. Just a year ago i received funding, now I'm organizing and raising funds. It's wonderful .....funding at it's finest. So right now my main issue is getting more women of diverse backgrounds to the table, to teach them about reproductive justice through empowerment and direct support, which would essentially increase donations to help more women. So there's a lot to be done, but Chicago has set the framework for the revolution. I'm ready. THANK YOU GAYLON!!!

Philly

Right now as I speak (well... type), I am in Philadelphia for a conference with the National Network of Abortion Fund. I'm having so much fun. The workshops are very informative and I'm meeting so many wonderful people. I'm mostly excited about having the opportunity to let the nation know about the My Voice, My Choice leadership group. We are the only young women of color here, so our involvement is desperately needed in the reproductive justice movement. The other organizations are really interested in learning more about our group and how it got started. Some have even wondered if they can come to Chicago and possibly be guests on the show!!! Also, I went to downtown Philly. I had to ride the train because we're staying in a town that is a few miles from Philly. That was fun. We just walked and walked and walked...... The people here are very friendly but they don't seem to think so. Anyway, I'm so blessed and thankful to be here and I can't wait to travel again and represent for the young black women in this movement. Gotta get back now......PEACE!!!!!

This is a little late...

Several weekends ago, I went to a Choice USA Midwest Reproductive Rights Conference and it was... amazing. I love organizations that get it. While most of the conference was focused on organizing for reproductive justice on college campuses, I was pleasantly surprised by their bringing in of other topics that intersect with reproductive rights*.

The other young women and men there were amazing and a well needed reminder of the privilege and resources inherent in organizing in a major urban city. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the lack of support available to organizers and leaders- then I have to remind myself with how much less much of the rest of the midwest (and world) have to go on.

One of the workshops I think I got the most out of was the "Understanding the Opposition". Not just for the amazing break down of the presenter's well-researched book, but for the beginning of a formulation of a response as to why we at CAF do the leadership group. As a young biracial woman who grew up poor, I know that having the right to an abortion is just one of the many rights needed- and hard to access- for the population we serve. This is the feminist movement's ultimate flaw: it is being organized, by and large, by middle aged, middle to upper class, white and/or assimilated women. I am proud and in awe of the women that have come before me in the feminist movement, and those that are organizing now, but there is a need for leadership change.

The problem is, the opposition, the anti-choice movement, understood this almost from the get-go and exploited this weakness. They have been rallying people that mainstream feminists have been ignoring: young women, women of color, women with disabilities, poor women, single mothers... And when there's no else who seems to try to be helping, the anti-choice's lies and justifications seem comforting, right and sensible. After all, everything is easier in black and white, especially when one side is offering you diapers and the other side is theorizing about rights.

There are some amazing organizations out there trying to correct this, including us. Empowering women in all their needs only furthers strengthening our movement. As important as it is to focus on abortion rights what is really necessary is a more holistic view of changing the world/women- reproductive justice. Adjusting all of a woman's needs, not just her immediate need/want of an abortion.


* *cough*despite the fact that they had coca cola products, an anti-union (allegedly murdering union organizers in columbia) company whose list of other reasons to boycott are as long as my arm*cough* (But I think this may have been there because of the campus we were on, not them)

making moves

today we're going to Philly and I'm very anxious and excited. I will use this opportunity to let the nation know who we are and the importance of what we are trying to do. I cannot wait to meet with other people in this movement. There is no precedent to what we are doing and that makes me even more proud to belong to the My Voice, My choice leadership group. I will definitely let you know how everything went and I'll be sure to post some info on what
I've learned. Till next time.............. PEACE... and VOTE FOR CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Excited!!!!

I'm soo very excited!! Tomorrow my girls and I are flying to Philly for the National Network of Abortion Funds Conference . We are representing Chi-City. We will be with other abortion funds from the U.S.. This is a big deal to me, considering that we are young women of color and are voices haven't really been heard in this RJ movement. It's time for change. We're on a mission, a 007 mission to make choice possible.We know this is serious work, and we gotta do it.(If not us, then who?)........I know I'll have much to say when I come back. It's gonna be dope!(by that I mean informative) PEACE

Being a Sexual Being!

One thing I've noticed in many conversations and meetings is the absence of recognizing that women are sexual beings. Yeah, we talk about abortion, birth control, prevention....etc. but the reality is that we are sexual beings. There is nothing to be ashamed about that realization. And sex feels good so we do it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.

However, what is important to note is that education is the key in women making healthy decisions. You can't not provide quality sex education but expect young women not to get pregnant or catch STD's/STI's. You can't expect women to make good quality choices about birth control if doctors are only pushing the "shot" or the "pill" in poor neighborhoods. Can we expect young women to know about their bodies if we don't teach them?

Human beings are going to have sex. That is just nature....no matter what anyone says. It feels good and we are going to do it. There are those that will make the choice not to have sex before marriage and those that will make the choice to have sex. It takes a variety of people, situations and experiences to make the world go around. We need to make sure we have the information to provide so that women can make healthy sexual decisions if and when they decide they want to "get busy"!

PRO-CHOICE & PROUD OF IT!

When people say they are pro-life, what exactly do they mean? Honestly it makes no sense to me,(in a country where you can legally buy cancer in a box for 7 bucks.) I'm familiar with the definition, but the concepts aren't adding up. What about all the women who lost their lives(prior to Roe v. Wade) because of those who posed pro-life attitudes. I think pro-lifers live in a make believe,perfect world. I choose to be honest with myself,....as long as there is rape, incest, abuse, poverty, etc there is a need for CHOICE. Furthermore, a women's decision to abort is personal. So for anyone to criticise or pass judgment would just be ignorant. I'm PRO-CHOICE and proud of it. I have and always will support women making their own choices about reproduction.

First timer!!

Last month I was on the show for the first time. I loved it! So I went back last night. I was a little nervous but I am very proud of what I am doing. Most of all, I am proud of the work that CAF does. The leadership group is changing my life in ways that I would have never imagined. I will be going to Philadelphia next month for a conference. I'm really excited!!!! Remember, abortion is nothing to be ashamed of. It' s YOUR right and Your choice! Peace:-)

1Year & Counting

April marked my 1 year anniversary of being in the My Voice, My Choice Leadership Group. A lot has changed for me within the last year. I'm back in school, I have a great job, an a new attitude towards life. I've appeared on the front page of the Tribune in January for the Roe v. Wade anniversary, I've hosted Chicago Abortion Fund's talk show,(which airs every last Wednesday of the month@8:30p. on channel 21) spoken on a panel at UIC , I've had the amazing opportunity of traveling to Amherst,MA for the Reproductive Justice Conference, not to mention the conferences in Philly and Ohio coming up.......What can I say,....... This movement has moved me . Being a leader is no easy task, because to lead is to serve. I'm grateful that this group has ALL the tools to assist me taking the lead.

Reproductive Rights & Social Justice Conference in Amherst,MA

This weekend conference was AMAZING! I traveled all the way to Massachusetts, just to be apart of the empowering experience. I'm fairly new to the RJ movement. This conference was really informative. We were given precise information, lots of resources, and loads of hospitality.(I'm definitely going next year).Some of the workshops I attended were; Making Washington Work for You, Building the RJ Movement, Economic Justice in the U.S., Abortion Access Internationally. There were a lot of great workshops I wanted to attend (but couldn't be in 2 places at once). All the info I get I share. I'm back home now, and I gotta get to work, literally!
Stay Tuned

We're at the table,.... LITERALLY!

Whoever said that abortion was a white woman's issue lied. Every time I step into a room where concrete decisions about abortion and reproductive rights are made, faces like mine are scarce. This lets me know that the people making decisions about "our" bodies don't have "our" opinions. The Chicago Abortion Fund, through the leadership group, has afforded me a ticket to most of these meetings that average black woman can't walk into. When I'm sitting at the table with executive directors, and coordinator, my first thought is..."WOW", I'm the only person here under 30. My next thought is, "Where are all the black people"? "Did they not get the memo"? Reproductive Justice is a movement, and if people/women of color are not at the table, incorporating the voices of black youth, then we're not moving forward with the movement. So I understand greatly the impact of me being present,... I gotta represent. Then later, go back and present this info to as many woman as I can, who may never be at the meetings. My face being at the table is proof that these issues are universal. When I enter the room I'm sure they wonder who I am and who I came with, but after I speak, they are quickly impressed(which is no validation to me). I have made it a priority within the last year to be a leader, which means that I can't be afraid to go to unfamiliar places, and I can't be afraid to shine. So I'm highly educating myself to do just that.

Rally for Real Sex Ed

Last week Illinois pro-choice activists held a day of action to call on the Governor to reject abstinence-only until marriage funds. It was capped off by a rally at Federal Plaza and if there's a rally, I'll try my best to be there! Here are some photos from the small, but passionate gathering.


Here we are chanting.






Here a passer-by stops to sign a postcard. WOOHOO!!











This young man and woman both performed their own spoken word pieces. They were AMAZING. I wish I had thought to click over to video on my camera. Then again, my battery was dying.










More chanting & rallying!

Now to wait and see what the Governor does....

Food for Thought!

So I stop by one of the group members apartment last night to drop her off a bus pass and some food. I was dead tired! But I had to see her. She is really important....we all are. And that's why the women are staying connected in a way that has never been done before. I truly love these women. They are like my sisters, daughters, friends, family. I really care about them. And I want to see them do better, be better, have better. More importantly, I do accept them for who they are and where they are.

So I called her yesterday...or actually returned her call because she kept her promise and called me yesterday am. I was suppose to take her and the baby out to dinner and to talk. However, I was so tired I told her that I was still coming, but would bring her food instead. Ran by Wendy's (not the best choice, but that is what she wanted....I did get the baby (she's two) chocolate milk) and then to her place. We sat around and talked a bit. She is 23 years, a sweetheart and a young mother. The concern she has for her little girl is really evident. I'm proud of her and how she takes care of her little girl.

But do you know what was running through my mind the whole time? Some people are against this leadership group. Some people out there didn't want me to connect to the women that we served in this type of capacity. We have lost donors that don't believe we should be supportive AFTER a woman has an abortion! Some thought that we should just pay for the procedure and that's it. The typical band-aid solution - not get to the root of the issue right? So tell me how do we get these women to the table with us then? Maybe that is the point. Those that disagree don't want these young, poor women of color at the table. I just happen to be on the opposite side of the fence. I believe they should be there and have the right to be there.

And in order to get them to the table....I feed them and give them bus passes. In order for them to participate, I show them how much I truly value their time by giving them a small stipend. That small stipend may get them through payday....or help keep their lights on. That meal may be the only one they've had. But they can sit there and engage and talk about reproductive justice because they are not hungry....and they are respected!

I guess I get it because I was on public assistance receiving food stamps and surviving month to month on barely nothing. Yup, I was 21 in my own place trying to make it on my own. My son who is turning 20 years come August is my first born and we did our share of struggling. So I get it. And no this is not some sob story for the women in the leadership group. In fact, this is happy story...a living story....a truthful story. I want them at the table. They need to be at the table. So what that I have to feed them or give them a bus pass. So what that others don't get it. We are not doing this for pats on the back. We are doing this for survival. Women that have abortions....that make this personal decision....need some really concrete support after the fact. And if I want them to participate with me, I'm gonna help them......from my side of the fence.

This is only the beginning...

I’ve had a lot of opportunities since joining the Chicago Abortion Fund. Various conferences have taken me to states I’ve never been and allowed for otherwise impossible visits for a few hours with friends new and old at those events. I’ve attended workshops on menstrual extraction, open adoption, climate justice and how it is intertwined with reproductive rights, along with many other varied topics. I’ve hung out with doulas in who were also fighting for prison abolition and mothers’ rights while imprisoned; talked with women who have disabilities fighting for inclusion in feminist events and for bodily integrity; listened to teenage mothers describing their forced abortion experiences while calming down the baby on their hip.

Sometimes the facts can be hard to stomach. Workshops, conference calls and new reports on the neglect and abuse of women, women’s bodies/health and their children can lead to bouts of sadness and even despair. Occasionally, a woman will break down crying on the phone and I’ll have to try to console her. Other times, it’s their pure will and even leveled voice while describing their situations- situations I wouldn’t wish on anybody- that hit me.

Because of these moments- moments of despair, inspiration and hope- I know how important our My Voice, My Choice project is. Too often, women of color, young women, poor women, differently bodied women, are not seen. Our voices are ignored. Both by the people who condemn us for our situation and those who claim to want to help us. We get boiled down to statistics, trends, populations. We become an “other”. And we know we are more than that.

Worldwide, 1 in 5 pregnancies end in an induced abortion. In the United States, that number is 1 in 3. Even in spaces that acknowledge these facts, we are often marginalized. But we are beginning to change that- through groups like My Voice, My Choice, we can come together, discuss our lives and educate ourselves. We need to make our voices heard, not wait for others to create a space for us to speak out. Chicago Abortion Fund’s My Voice, My Choice is using every avenue it can to make our voices heard- public access television, you tube, myspace, our website, postcard campaigns, getting us to conferences, presenting workshops, this blog… The roar gets louder with every event, every connection, every woman who agrees to join. Here’s your opportunity to be at the start to something very, very important.

Discussions - From a Grassroots Perspective!

I'm super excited about today! We will be at the RACE SEX and POWER conference at UIC! Talking about organizing young women around reproductive and social justice issues.

So I submitted my proposal and it was accepted! On the panel will be Affinity Community Services, Chicago Abortion Fund's My Voice, My Choice, Illinois Caucus for Adolescent Health and Mujeres Latinas en Accion. We are going to talk about why it's important to have young women at the table organizing, the challenges and of course the successes! I know this is going to be a great discussion! In fact, we need more outlets like this. We need more spaces and places where we can make our voices heard.

I'm really looking forward to it. Yesterday one of the My Voice members stated that she didn't know she was sitting on the panel. And I told her why wouldn't she think that? Oh yeah I know why....because "Others" have tended to be the mouthpieces for so long. Oh no, I told her. This is your group. You have to talk. I am not talking for you. This is the entire purpose of the group. And she was like - yeah you're right, I get it.

This is a learning process for us. We're not perfect....we are learning and growing together in this movement. My job is to find the spaces and places for these conversations to occur (our cable access show, this blog, conferences and workshops). The leadership group's job is to give voice to their own experiences! I'm not speaking for them....oh no! This is their baby and they can do it!

Our Travels!

So we're back from Amherst, Mass from the "Abortion Rights to Social Justice" conference at Hampshire College. This is my third time going...and they say the third time's a charm right? Yup! This time was truly special. Several women from the MyVoice, MyChoice leadership group were in attendance....all in the name of reproductive justice!

I'm happy! To have these sistas with us at the table is just crazy awesome! I mean how often do we...as society...walk pass these women everyday? We don't even think of them as leaders but they are. I'm experiencing their transformation and growth every single day.

Hey my heart is kinda full. I mean when I came to the Chicago Abortion Fund I couldn't understand for the life of me why the women we serve weren't at the table with us? Were we in the movement, so power hungry and high up on egos that we couldn't share the space? I have a responsibility to reach back and pull another woman with me. Just like women have assisted me in my life's journey. But this wasn't being done. And because everything I do with the women in the leadership group is done out of love, there is truly a holistic approach to this work.

Organizing young women, marginalized women is the way we are going to move this movement forward. We have to have the women we are serving at the table participating and making their voices heard.

So that is why my heart is full right now....because I'm hearing our women loud and clear. They are not invisible. Their lives matter!