Sunday, December 14, 2008

"Is it because I'm Black"

Recently I had got hired at an abortion clinic and it made me realize once more that in this life allot of times people don't care about the everyday challenges you face or how you deal with them. Especially when it comes to white people who are not marginalized and are scared of people like myself who are colored. I was working at this clinic for two weeks and then they sent me to another location of theirs to get phone training and called me over the phone and fired me. Why, I couldn't understand, but after thinking about this one event I realized what it was. I had to learn the hard way,They had this one girl training me and when she would train me when we had time she would talk about personal things, which I didn't consider to be intimate!, we were just talking, so she was saying how she met this guy and he had a PHD and couldn't find a job and so I replied by saying yeah its hard to find a job because of the recession and my friend has a background and I tell him he has to work extra hard because people like her friend are having a hard time so he has to work harder than the average person.I didn't consider that to be anything that would get me in trouble in any kind of way. But oh does news travel fast and misconscrewed !! So two days later the lady who hired me and the CEO of the company who were both white came to me and told me that several people came to her and told her that I said My boyfriend or husband robs houses.She said that concerned her because the clinic had been robbed before and ask me did i say anything like that and I told her I was talking about my boyfriend not husband and all I said was he had a background, I didn't disclose to her what was on it and I hadn't said that he was a robber and I would never date anyone who does something that horrible because I had been robbed in daylight with a gun and she told me just keep my personal business to myself and that this discussion was not going to affect my job, but she lied because the next week they called and fired me over the phone saying that" I was just not a good fit". I felt like saying "Is it because I'm Black" like Queen Latifah on beauty shop but I refrained myself because After I had the meeting I knew there was going to be trouble because she seemed freaked out by what whoever had told her. I felt freaked out I was very angry that some one would twist my words and go back and tell the CEO. So I asked I asked the person I told and they said they didn't say anything but I didn't know whether to believe her or not because another lady told me that the managers can listen to what your saying downstairs from upstairs after the fact. Sooooo many people were talking about the other people that work there behind their back I should have knew to be xtra cautious with anything I said. But I said it with out even thinking and this injustice just made me realize that because I am a black women I have to always be on my toes and one step ahead of everybody else.Sometimes I feel like the crab in the tank who keeps getting pulled back in. I don't understand what my friend having a background has to do with my job if i am doing what I am suppose to do. But I guess be cause I am black it has allot to do with it. I can't believe how racist people are even after the election of the president . But I guess progress doesn't happen over night. I mean I thought I would be at this job for a while and be able to be on my own and take care of my bills without needing someone else. I mean I needed that job and one little roomer ended it. Whats so messed up is that the day before they fired me my aunt whose building I was living in ask me to leave because she didn't like my boyfriend who is no longer my boyfriend. So now I am starting all over from nothing again. I don't know, in life sometimes it just seems like the fight will never end. I mean as soon as you think your ship is coming it just passes you on by. I know I have to keep on pushing but when things like this happens some times you just want to throw the towel in. But I do realize if I do that it would be giving the other team an easy win and anything worth having is worth fighting for and one day I will live instead of just surviving on this earth. People aren't always going to be fair to you so nether is life.The worst thing of all is they didn't even have the audacity or courage to fire me to my face. Which made it all the more disturbing and let me know that it was because of my color and me being associated with someone who has a background. My friend is just someone who made some bad choices when he was younger and paid his dues now he is trying to turn his life around but how can he do that if no one will give him a chance. Just a little one but maybe one day God will sprinkle a little grace on him too so until next time "Remember nobody is going to give you anything sometimes you have to take or fight for it but never throw the towel in cuz I'm not! In the words of my Beautiful Black Brother "I'm getting mines" and it takes more muscles to frown than smile.So hold your head up!
Love, Peace and Choice

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