Saturday, July 31, 2010

The secret life...2

Alright everyone, my guilty pleasure show is really starting to grow up! One of the characters Adrian, (a character I think they should have named "Lola" because of her seducing abilities), is pregnant. She got pregnant(by Amy's boyfriend, Ben during a brief separation) despite her being on birth control and them using a condom (which I also love the producers for writing in, a lot of people have this idea in their head that women who terminate their pregnancies are just out there being reckless with their bodies and that's how they got pregnant in the first place). So what does Adrian do...well first she refused to acknowledge her pregnancy because she was in denial. Then when she finally did start to really think about things, she realized she was not ready for a child at her age, so she decided that she wanted to have an abortion. The reason I'm so proud of the show is because they actually used the word abortion and not terminate the pregnancy or something else like they did when the main character Amy got pregnant in the first season. Not only that but a lot of the other characters on the show supported her right to choose which was also refreshing, One of her friends even offered to go with her to the clinic! The secret life has come a long way from avoiding saying the word "abortion" on television to Adrian choosing to have an abortion. Now in the end, the show airs on ABC family so she of course ended up not having the abortion. (I personally think that if she had, that would have brought in more viewers but just my opinion)I'm still very proud of the show though, It takes years to finally grow up and The secret life is getting step at a time.


Last weekend Shay and I went to Kentucky for a conference. We meet so many amazing people!!! It was so nice to be around people who believe in a woman's right to choose and not have to be quiet and coy about it. Friends/family members of mine think that I might some sort of man hater issues to be involved in a cause like this so being able to talk about abortion without having to defend myself is very refreshing. Personally I think of myself as being brave for speaking out on my beliefs and I've gotten the same response from most people. Anyway though, I have to say this...I think Kentucky is a beautiful state, but their little abortion inhibitor laws are even worse than Illinois! They have a 24 hour notification law, which means a women has to call the abortion clinic, 24 hours in advance to making her appointment. I know that that might not sound to bad to some people but it's these little annoying inhibitors that may make a women change her mind because of the extra work. She's already gotta deal with the stigma from other people!!!. Another thing I learned is that there are only two providers in the whole state so a first trimester abortion here in Chicago is actually double the price down there! We think we've got it bad.....One great day, abortion will not be looked at any differently than any other surgery....Until that day comes though, it's good for us to come together at conferences like these to share our ideas and opinions in a safe environment.

Monday, July 26, 2010

I love being a part of the leadership group! It empowers me and gives other women like me a voice. We're changing the world one day at a time! Look out!

Sunday, July 25, 2010


So I just got back from a Kentucky from an amazing conference. So as of now I have done quite a few panels and when I get the opportunity to go to another state and talk to about what I do everyday I get re energized to come back and work harder.

Talking to the activist in Kentucky let me really see that although we have it hard it's much worse in other states. Being an activist we hear all these stories about no access, but you feel a different impact when you're in the midst of people that face those oppressions first hand. It is heartbreaking to know that they only have two clinics and one provider, and they cost of a 1st trimester abortion is outrageous!

I'm glad I was given another opprotunity to go and spread the word about CAF and My Voice, My Choice leadership group. I want to thank all the Kentucky RJ activist and the Kentucky Medical Students for Choice that welcomed us like a family and sang us many praises.......

I just back to Chicago a few hours ago and I'm in a "Save the World" state of mind!

Thinking of a master plan........................

Friday, July 23, 2010

Phone Calls

Calling women back after their abortion procedure can be tricky. If I call a home phone, I have to block our number, just in case they have caller ID (our name shows up on home lines for some reason). Sometimes their number has been disconnected. Sometimes they give me a family member's or friend's number, and I have to be discreet, in case they don't know. Sometimes the person who picks up is very cranky that I won't tell them exactly who I am or why I want to talk to her.

I say "this is Em from CAF, that's C-A-F, calling about your procedure in (month)" and it can take a minute- I like to wait for the moment of remembrance before I go on, just in case. Sometimes they get terse once the realize who it is. Sometimes they get excited. Most times, they just don't know what to expect. I don't blame them. Most of the women we help are used to uncaring workers or ridiculously bureaucratic government processes that aim to get them out of programs, not really to help them.

I ask them how everything was at the clinic, note any concerns or great experiences they had. I ask how they're doing now, go down the list of questions we have for our follow up process, and see if they have any needs in their life that an organization or agency we know of can help them with.

Sometimes they cry, and I refer them to hotlines to talk to trained professionals. I always tell them they can call me if they want to talk and I will gladly listen, but I'm not an actual counselor. Sometimes, the crying is because they're so happy that someone even cares to make sure they're OK. Other times- most of the time- it's because in a different situation, they would have decided to continue with the pregnancy. Sometimes, they don't say why they're crying and I just sit through it, but I tell them it'll get better, eventually.

Sometimes they chatter away, so excited to talk to someone because they feel isolated but oh-so-grateful that the procedure was taken care of. They make promises to pay back the grant in a few years, when they're in a better place, when this job finally calls them back, once their kids' daycare costs aren't so much. I assure them it's fine, not to worry, but if they do donate, it will definitely go to another woman in need.

Sometimes, they're still defensive through the whole interview, wondering when I'm going to pull the rug from under them- are we going to send them a bill eventually or if they answer a question "wrong"? Will we expect them to do something for us? Am I going to call DCFS on them because they're too poor for the kids they already had before all this?

I hang up, wishing them a good night and reassuring that they can call us at any time, worried about the cynical ones, wondering how much the world has beat them up, and the sad ones, wondering how much they're beating themselves up. I take comfort in the ones- the majority- who are just grateful that we helped them and hope they pull themselves out of whatever bad situations they're in. They got through our phone lines and the clinic's picket lines, they gathered as much money as they could and did whatever they deemed they had to do, by a mixture of extreme determination and I'm sure a little luck- hopefully that helps them everywhere else in their lives.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Abortion will cause breast cancer and condoms are not effective at preventing pregnancy and desease!!

This is such a horrifying false statement. I cant believe people would stoop this low to stop women from making their own choice with their body. I would say what has this world come to but it's obviously clear.This disgusts me beyond words. That's why knowing and finding out the facts for yourself is so important in this life. As always I will not be silenced and I hope more people will stop being silenced like me.Peace,Love and Choice!!


TRUE...this recession is hitting everyone hard; both the employees and the employers are being affected. But does that mean people aren't hiring anymore....FALSE!!. There are little odd jobs here and there that have positions open. So here's a little F.Y.I:

CVS PHARMACY: They are hiring like crazy everywhere. All you have to do is apply online from there website The application process is kind of long but its worth it for a little extra cash.

YAHOO JOBS: If you ever go to there is a panel of options on the left hand side of the screen. One of those options is a yahoo jobs icon. If you click on it and type in your city, they pull up a whole bunch of job opportunities.

So....GOOD LUCK with the job search!!!

Friday, July 2, 2010

From the beginning of time, women have been expected to sacrifice. Sacrifice their time, their bodies, sacrifice their life for those she loves. Well, I wanna know when is it our turn. When is it time to sacrifice for us? our mothers sisters cousins...when is it their time? every year I ask my mother what she wants for her Christmas/birthday(which happens to fall on the same day December 25) and she tells me the some thing, "my health" are her words. I think its time to do more. I also think black men need to stand up and take care of black women like they were supposed to from the beginning. No we don't need them to...but that's what a man is supposed to do for a woman.Until we start putting women first in this country, it will continue to fall at the rate it has been.