Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Why is it that when white people are ready to commit they get married and when black people are ready to commit, they have a baby? Time and time again when I hear black people talk about their significant other, they usually refer to them as their baby momma or baby daddy, but when you hear white people talk about their significant other, they are referred to as husband and wife. I can count on one hand how many weddings I've been to in my life, and I'm relizing how disturbing that is. I'm not ragging on us now, I could be wrong. This could be a generational thing. Statistics show that less people have been getting married since lets say our grandparents generation. Generation x(1961-1980) and y(1980-2000) have had falling marrige rates and higher divorce rates. than any other generation. But from what I see we need to start commiting to each other completely and get married because I want some wedding cake lol!!!


RF said...

Well, there are a lot of ways to commit to each other. I'm not saying a baby is the best way, but marriage may not be a meaningful commitment to everyone. That's my ahistorical feminist take on it.

My other take on it, the historicized race-conscious version of it, is this: (1) Back in the day, AFDC/welfare was supposed to be only for single women and children. If you had a man in the home then you had a "provider" and he should be working and that should be enough to support you. I'm not sure when this was changed, but from what I heard it basically forced some unemployed families to split into different residences so that they could receive support. By this analysis, government assistance policies broke up families and couples - and deterred marriage obviously since being married would have been a reason to kick you off the assistance rolls. (2) The cradle-to-prison pipeline: too many black men being jailed for too long, and the economic and education systems basically perpetuating that.

I guess I'm saying, it may be common not to plan on getting married due to forces bigger and older than ourselves. Similar to what Nicole was saying about the slave trade, which I hadn't thought about. Not sure what to do about all this, just thinking.

Gaylon said...

crystal....i think this is a societal issue. when you live in a "me, me, me" instant gratification society, you will have the breakdown of the basic core beliefs. however, it could also just be a sign of the times...this is the way the world is spinning. if we want to stop this, we need to be proactive. take control of our own lives. stop attaching ourselves to the identities of others...etc. empower ourselves so that we don't have to rely on others for our self worth!

keep blogging sister!