What The Hell?!

I learned yesterday that The world is unfair. I mean I've known this for a while, (for a while I mean the last 12 years...my parents sheltered me a lot) but I found out just how unfair as of yesterday. Does anyone know that at least 27 states in this country including our dearly beloved Illinois do not have mandates against rapists sharing custody of children with their victims?! So in other words, If you are raped, and become pregnant as a result and you choose to go through with the pregnancy and have the baby, the man that raped you can come back later and try to sue you for custody of that child. Does that make any sense? In what frame of mind is that even remotely possible?! Something like that should not even be an issue but in this male dominated society, the Penis rules everything and if you have one you can get away with almost everything including forceably sticking it into a woman, impregnating her and then wanting the precious baby that comes out of her. Or not really wanting  the baby at all but just wanting the power over her,  to make her a victim again by a using custody battles against her.  Not to mention the trama the poor child. Its bad enough that they are a product of a rape but then to actually be partially raised by them to??? I know one thing, if anything like that happens to me or any of my relatives, I'm moving to Philly (Pennsylvania) where they have the strictest Rapist for custody laws in the country. (Come on Chicago and the U.S of A all together, I love you but...WE GOT TO DO BETTER!!!!!)

Understanding My Beliefs

Whenever I mention that I volunteer for the Chicago Abortion Fund or when I am conducting community outreach people are shocked to hear that I support abortion. This reaction is usually followed by their opinion on abortion, which is fine. My views may not be the same as theirs and I do not expect them to always agree with them. The annoying part isn't so much about them disagreeing with me, its more frustrating when they try to convince me that my opinion is wrong and that I'm a demon spawn or something. Then I get the luxury of spending 5-10 minutes out of my life explaining to them why I believe what I believe.
I believe that a woman has the right to choose whatever she wants to regarding her body and reproductive health. At no point should politicians decide what she can and cannot do with HER body. Some people fail to realize the machine behind abortion restrictions. Anti- choice politicians do not care about life, these restrictions are about control. These are the same politicians who support and maintain a patriarchal society that strips women, people of color, LGBTQ, and low-income individuals of their human right to exist freely. I cannot believe in a system that claims to be concerned with life but with every possible chance they are throwing my brothers and sisters in prison cells. This is the same system that cuts public funding for crucial social services like mental health institutes, clinics, affordable healthcare, child care, public assistance, social security and the list goes on. I cannot support a system that blames and shames women who are raped, who report it and nothing else happens, failed once again by the system. The same system that refuses to provide public schools with adequate funding yet charges college students an insane amount of money to receive a post secondary education, much of which could've been taught/learned in our high schools if only our youth were given the opportunity to think and speak outside of the textbook! So yes, I do believe in abortion, I do believe in women's rights, civil rights and any other right that is mine yet somehow I have to fight for every waking day of my life.

My Abortion III

They were okay at first, then they became stronger. I was doubled over when they called my number to go to the back. The nurse had to help me walk back there and I was embarrassed because I noticeably had bleed on myself. When I walked into the room, everything was set up, the table, the instruments, they even had a ultrasound machine. The Doctor came in, she was nice, a woman about my age with a warm smile. I was so happy not to have an old stogey looking guy who just wanted to finish his day so he could go play golf or something. She welcomed me and explained everything she was about to do. I did not obt to be put to sleep so I was awake for the whole thing. The medication that we had to put in our cheeks helped start the process by stopping the pregnancy. Next when I was laying down after the equipment was put in place, a needle was supposed to be injected into my cervix but since I had recently had a baby, the medication opened my cervix enough to not need it. She put a tube into me to pump out the products of conception. I felt every pump. Im not going to lie, it did hurt. It was not something I particularly wanted to be doing at the time. I would compare the pain to a bad pap-smear. Afterwards, I was checked by the ultrasound machine to make sure everything was okay and was helped up by the nurse. the Doctor said goodbye but at the time I was kinda too focused on the pain to say anything to her. I was helped into the recovery room by one of the nurses. I sat down in that lazy boy for about 10 minutes before I could get up again. when I did get up though, I was able to walk upright. I looked around the room and I saw some of the girls still laughing and cracking jokes and some were doubled over or looking very sleepy. After another half hour wait I was allowed to go home and  when I got there,  I looked in the bag they gave me to find antibiotics, Ibuprofen and a REALLY big box of condoms.

My Abortion II

After lollygagging at a restaurant for 2 and a half hours an walking around for just as long almost, I came back to the hospital to pay for my procedure. I was number 22. At this point all the "FP" patients were sitting in the main lobby waiting room. It was then that as most people do when they sit together, we started to talk to each other. I learned all of their stories. We were all in the same age range from 25 to 33. We all had different reasons for choosing to abort. Some of the reasons ranged from Having too many kids already to not being ready to be a mother to just being scared of the pain of childbirth to abusive boyfriends who were intimidating their partners to do so. After another hour of waiting we were shuffled off. Down a hallway, up some stairs into another room where there were bags on every seat filled with pads, booties even bigger pads and hospital gowns both paper and cloth. We were given instructions on what to do and what not to do during and after the procedure was over with. We were also given a little cup with two pills in it. They were called Misoprostol, and we were told to put them both on the inside of our cheeks and let them dissolve.
They tasted like you would expect them to, bitter, mediciney, chalky. The girl sitting next to me starts moaning about how she cant swallow medicine without any water and they instruct her to let it dissolve in her cheek or leave. Big plastic bags were passed around to put our personal belongings in (as we were still holding them at that time). As the girl on my left left passed me one of the bags, I felt like I was bleeding. I shifted in my chair to feel that familiar feeling of blood in-between my legs. That's when the cramps started.

My Abortion

I had to wake up at 5am to get to the facility where I was having it at. It was a whole hour and a half train ride from where I lived. When I got there, I had to wait 30 minutes outside just to get in. Thank God is was summer like weather outside. When I first entered the facility it seemed a little dismal but after I went to my particular floor, It was a little nicer. There were big windows to let the natural sunlight in. After I checked in for my appointment I sat in the waiting room filling out paperwork to be called. There were at least 10 other girls with the same appointment at the same time as me. After I returned the paperwork and sat down to wait for the nurse, I looked around and realized 10 other girls had now walked in. I heard of double booking but this is ridiculous! Ten minutes go by and Im called by the nurse. I go back into this short hallway to get my blood pressure checked. They only have the really hard plastic chairs in the back waiting area (as opposed to the only regularly hard plastic chairs in the front waiting area.) a couple more minutes go by and its time for the ultrasound. I walk in the room and the ultrasound tech half smiles at me and tells me to undress from the waist down and lay down on the table. She does the ultrasound in less then 3 minutes and tells me to put my clothes back on. I'm told to sit outside in the waiting area again. There I realize I've been there for almost 3 hours! Just to get that done for a 5 minute procedure done. after another 20 minute wait I am told I'm done for now and that I can have lunch and to come like in 4 hours..."Four Hours!!!! In a neighborhood that I don't even know! I didn't even bring my phone charger!" I thought to myself. Oh well hope I can find somewhere nice to sit.....underneath my breath.

Atheist II

So In my last post, I talked about my first encounter with an atheist. Of course I can sit and say that he's crazy and ignorant and some sort of evil genius out to take over the world. Being a part of the My voice my choice leadership group over the last 5 years, I've met different people whom have different beliefs and ideas than my own. Yet we still have gotten along and they are still good people. The world if filled with people with different beliefs, I believe that is because God gave us free will and that lets us choose what and whom we want to believe. Being Pro Choice is just that Pro-choice and I have to not only believe in the choices that women make but in choices that everyone makes. We live in a country that was founded on these principles and even though America doesn't always live up to that, that common creed is still in our hearts, so with that, I guess Ill be giving him a call this week.

Untitled and Unleashed

To hear/ read some people state that only 1st trimester abortion should be legal because (that is enough time for women to make up their minds angers me. At any time during an unwanted pregnancy it is a woman's right and personal decision to choose abortion. With that choice should come access but unfortunately, the system isn't designed that way. My choice was made but I didn't have access to the abortion. My procedure was the same amount as my monthly income. By the time I saved up for it I was in my in my second trimester. Even if I had chosen to get an abortion in my 2nd trimester I should've been able to. Now women are being stripped of their rights and choices with such bills as the Fetal Pain bill. This society is so set on war; war on women, war on drugs, war against terrorism, and the list goes on. Their should be a war on this society, the politicians, poverty, greed, domestic violence, rape, discrimination, and HATE! Instead we are attacked for being who we are and the decisions we make. Being born with a vagina, having my own mind and voice means I have to fight constantly. But I don't mind the fight, just the reasoning behind it.